#5…One Bad Mamma Jamma…September 2007

I’ve decided that one of the theme songs of my life should be “Bad Mamma Jamma”…And I should hire someone to follow me with a huge boom box playing it as I run errands or take my ocean drive walks. It only makes sense. I decided this the other night as I was having a deep thought, caught an unsuspected glimpse of myself in the mirror, and discovered that I, indeed, had a neck. Also, for once in my life, I have only one chin. I was nervous at first, but a friend informed me that this is the norm…Excellent. My calendar had been crammed with friends’ birthdays, weddings, and baby showers. Usually when my social schedule stays full so does my belly. This obviously means no Weight Watchers. I skip 3 meetings but finally show my face to the final meeting of the month. As I step on the scale memories of cakes from Janet’s Bakery and finger food float through my head as a symphony plays in my mind. So what if I gained a pound or two? I have had a great month and I feel great…dammit. I step off the scale and try to read the thin lady’s face as she checks my weight on the computer screen. No clues. She hands me my tracking card. 165 pounds. I haven’t lost, I haven’t gained. I am overjoyed; especially since we all know I was definitely lying when I said I’d be okay if I gained weight. Time to focus. I have to get back on track before I get used to the sweet life again. Like most of my past relationships, my one with food is love-hate. What am I saying…It is ALL love! (UNLIKE most of my past relationships.) And I want to be all love all the time but I suffer from skinny girl envy. I just get irritated with the ones that can eat whatever they want and never gain weight. I became depressed when I pictured my future of never being able to eat whatever I wanted. That is when I discovered my neck…Now I am interviewing boom box carriers…Maybe I’ll get some skates too…

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