Jumpers

I love popcorn from the movie theater. I love the way the concession workers let you layer butter throughout the popcorn in an attempt to make you forget about the outrageous prices. However, I don’t love that usually a movie has to accompany my popcorn and I really don’t love the last movie that tagged along with my delicious snack. “Jumper,” a movie based on the science fiction novel of the same name written by Steven Gould, is a tale of really good looking people with extraordinary talents. Unfortunately one of those talents doesn’t seem to be acting. “Jumper” stars Hayden Christensen (“Star Wars”), Jamie Bell (“Billy Elliot”), Rachel Bilson (“O.C.”), Diane Lane and Samuel L. Jackson. We begin with David (Christensen) as a young teenager living the typical “poor me” movie life. His mother left him when he was five, his father is an angry drunk and he is humiliated by the school bully in front of Millie, the girl he loves. Soon David discovers he was born with the ability to transport himself to places he has seen either in person or through a picture. He runs away or, transports away, from home and for the next eight years lives a life of decadence off the money he stole from a bank. Soon, Roman (Jackson) the leader fo the Paladins, a group dedicated to killing Jumpers, finds David and tries to kill him. Usually, I fall in love with any Jackson character, but Roman is completely unlikable. Perhaps it was his white hair or the fact that even he couldn’t manage to squeeze in his signature term, “Muthaf***a”. I kept waiting for a “You’re a Jumper muthaf***a, or “I’m going to kill you Muthaf***a,” but it never happened. In typical movie form, David flees back to his hometown and meets up with-you guessed it- Millie (Bilson) who he finds working in a bar. We even get to see the old high school bully, in his old high school letterman jacket, drunk, and acting like a fool. Didn’t we see this exact scene in the Ryan Reynolds movie, “Just Friends”? David makes a pit stop at his old house where he sees a framed photograph of his mother (Lane) and tries to give the impression that he is upset. Bilson’s acting was so terrible it made me want to yell “muthaf***a.” Furthermore, is this all we get to see of Lane’s acting, a measly reminiscing scene with her photograph? With Roman hot on his trail and with Millie now in danger, David teams up with Griffin to fight back. Thank goodness for Elliot as he is both talented and handsome; and who can resist an accent anyway? The special effects are really great but the scenes are shot in the same style as “The Blair Witch Project” with the camera jumping around constantly. Lane did appear briefly later, but it was too little too late as I was feeling nauseous and was out of popcorn.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s